Not that much thought has gone into this blog site: I didn’t mull over it for a few weeks, I didn’t check with people to see if they were interested, I didn’t read up about which type of blogs are popular. Once I’d got the idea, I just decided to go for it.
The idea came just after we’d had a really good weekend with a few humorous incidents (It’s been SO SO Long ). Gary – my other half – said ‘You could write something funny about this weekend’. I’m not sure why as neither of us have ever written that much of anything. But the idea stayed. It stayed and expanded.
Somewhere along the way, the idea of a blog popped into my head. Why? Perhaps, it was the feeling of wanting to tell as many people as possible about my finding a way to recover from a chronic illness. Perhaps it was because my reading of a blog ME/CFS: Steps to full recovery first made me hope that there was a treatment that would help me. Perhaps it was because I’d got obsessed with a French-Canadian family’s blog (No Pearls Without Grit) where Laura’s openness about the difficulties and realities of her life drew me in. Perhaps, because I was looking for a challenge now that I’ve recovered from chronic fatigue, freeing up my time and energy.
Certainly, the name of my blog – and its underlying philosophy – seemed to come fully formed into my mind. A reflection that I no longer want to strive for a superhuman kind of life where I am always looking for something new; always looking to be the best because that might make me satisfied but never does. Now I just want to do what I can with a regular, normal kind of life. Fourteen years of chronic fatigue have made me look very closely at my compulsion to push, and I no longer want anything to do with it.
When Gary saw that I was thinking of pursuing the idea, he asked me all those logical, business like questions: What’s your purpose? Who’s your audience? Why do you want to do it? The only answer I could give him was: ‘Why not?’ .…‘Why not?’.
As I said this, I could feel how freeing an attitude it was, I could feel how powerful it was. Where in the past I would have had doubts, there were none. Where there would have been self-criticism, there was none. Perhaps, going through hell during my relapse has given me something of immense value. The doubts, the self criticism, the frustration, the pain, the disappointments had an upper hand for what felt like much of the time during the time of my relapse, but they didn’t win. I won.
I sat in silence after writing those unexpected words, stunned and elated at their truth. If I can have these kind of insights, the blog will be worth it.
If I can help just one person with chronic fatigue recover, if I can just help one person with a chronic illness not feel alone, if I can just inspire one person to send an email to an ill friend, if I can help just one person feel a tiny weenie bit better about their day, then my day, my year will be made.
I have a notebook now where I write down ideas for blogs: wow, they are flowing. Ones about the hard times, about how surviving chronic fatigue is habit changing, about creating my new life; there are others about my story, some celebratory, some reflective. No real plan. No real mission (thankfully). Just a willingness to follow the call of ‘Why not?’
If you are part of a ME/CFS forum or group – and have found this blog useful, please consider posting a link to my blog and sharing with people you know. I wish I’d known years ago that energy medicine could help me and, I’m guessing that there are other people out there in a similar situation who may be helped by what I’ve written. I hope so!
Also, if there is a topic you would like to see a blog on or if any of the links aren’t working, please email me (via Contact page) or add a comment in the box below.